Fushigi Otome
by Minerva Blue
Summary: Self insertion. A girl desperate to escape a miserable life of pain and depression commits suicide. In her death she falls into a reality she had always dreamed of. But sometimes dreams aren't all their cracked up to be.
1. Knocking on Death's Door

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Fushigi Otome(Mysterious Girl)   
  
Self insertion   
  
I started this a few days ago cause well, I felt like it and wanted to see where it went. Just a fun idea to play around with and I decided to post the story.   
  
**Warning** Contains issues of suicide and death.   
  
  
I Do not own Gundam Wing, and despite my efforts to get that fact changed, I have no money, So I cannot pay for lawyers or even a small portion of stock! What it all comes down to is I'm dirt poor and don't own any rights to any kind of anime. Poor Me.   
  
  
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_People dream. We dream of places we've never been _

and lives we've never seen. Sometimes dreams are so real it's 

hard to tell when you are awake, or if the dream instead was 

reality. When we die do we fall into our dreams, living our 

lives in another reality? 

  
  
She looked down at her wrists, staring at the scars just healing over. It seemed like only a moment ago she had chosen to take the knife from the kitchen and end it all. She remembered the towels she had laid on her bedroom floor, she wanted to die in the place she felt safest and didn't want to make a mess, she didn't want to trouble her parents with washing out the carpet stains. She finally lowered her hands and looked at where she was, everything felt so real, but it couldn't be possible could it? it looked like daylight but the air was different, had a metallic smell to it. This..she had seen the place before. Slowly she began to smile, reassuring herself. "So, I finally did it right."   
  
She knew where she was, a colony. she knew because she had dreamed of it so many times. Maybe this is what happens when you die, your dreams become real. If this was so then, she knew exactly where she was. The one place where she always dreamed to go. Finally she had a chance, this was L2.   
  
She shivered, finally realizing it was raining. Perfect that now it should be raining, maybe she should have waited to do it a little longer and missed the rain. Somehow she didn't think that would have worked. Hugging her body she continued forward down the street, purple nightgown clinging to her body. Being barefoot and hardly clothed were two inconviences to her predicament. She should have chosen something warmer. Then again, she didn't think that she would end up anywhere. Maybe she was being punished and silently she wondered why the hell any god would punish people for trying to end their pain.   
  
Just a little further maybe, she could find a place to duck into for warmth. The girl was lost, totally lost. In a strange place with her bedclothes and not even a pair of slippers. At least her hair had looked good, before it got wet. She dreaded having to tangle with the mass of curls when they got dry again. Shivering again she ducked under a building, sliding down so she sat against the wall. Maybe if she died again she would end up somewhere better. But that was the million dollar question, could you die twice?   
  
Best not think about it, focus on getting warm. Mentally she cursed those in charge for making it rain today before drifting into an uneasy sleep.   
  
  
***************************   
  
  
She awoke still cold, still shivering. Someone had kicked her. Great, among her other problems she had to be kicked as well. That was just great. Well, at least it had stopped raining. Slowly she opened her eyes, immediately shutting them again as the light nearly blinded her. Preparing herself she opened her eyes again and the light wasn't so bad. Testing herself she stood. Well she stood alright, it wasn't that bad, though she felt a little dizzy. People looked at her in disgust, they probably thought she was just another poor vagrant. Well wasn't she? Here she had no past, no money and no home. The only possessions she owned were the clothes on her back, a single wet purple flannel nightgown, and a silver pentacle necklace. She probably looked like crap. Almost immediately she became aware of the incredible hunger she had. It practically hit her over the head, she felt weak and dizzy and if she didn't manage to get food now she probably never would.   
  
Trying to make herself invisible she began to wander the streets again. Well she never had trouble being invisible before, no one really did notice her, even though she felt they did, giving her judging looks. It was one of the reasons she chose to die in the first place, no one cared.   
  
She wandered for a few more blocks getting hungrier by each step. It was her luck she had managed to come across a cafe, some of the tables were empty, waiting to be cleared. She made a quick cross to one of them still containing food and grabbed all she could carry, running from the area. She had managed to stave off hunger for a day, maybe she would be lucky again tomorrow.   
  
*************   
  
The next day was not so, she couldn't get near any food. So she traded her necklace for a meager sandwich. Men seemed to be giving her hungry looks. Well it was nice to be noticed for once, but she didn't think the intentions of these people were anything close to noble. The fact that she still had the same nightgown on and nothing else didn't help matters.   
  
She was hungry, could barely walk much less move due to the stabbing hunger pains. She finally was forced to dive into the dumpster head first, searching for any discarded food. Her meal took every effort to hold down afterwards. No matter now disgusting it had been she did not want to lose what little she had gotten down.   
  
She just felt sick afterward, everything seemed to move right and left and she couldn't keep focus. Finally she just laid down, trying to catch some sleep at least.  
  
If it was possible, she woke up feeling worse then she had been before, her head was spinning, she felt weak. But she had to shake it off, get up. It was funny, six days ago she wouldn't have cared. Strange how the mind works, when you have it all you want to die, when you have nothing you'd do anything to survive. Irony was such a funny concept. Leaning against a building for support she searched through blurred vision, she would have eaten fish entrails if they could be found. Surprisingly she couldn't see anything, and the hunger was growing. Forcing herself to move she stepped out of the alley. Leaning against the walls for balance she made her way down the streets, hunger and illness overtaking her. People were ignoring her again, no one wanted to be around someone who was so obviously sick, that was one thing to be happy about. Again she ducked into an alleyway, everything was so clouded now. Why was she here again? She couldn't remember, this headache was terrible.   
  
She looked out, trying to focus as a familiar figure passed by, long brown braid swinging side to side. She really couldn't tell why he was so familiar but she didn't care, there was no food, it was time to take the next step. She slipped out of the ally, trying to regain balance before following the boy. She knew after a few blocks he knew about her, she didn't care. In too quick movement he had vanished, where was he? She continued to lean against the wall, retracing the steps he had taken.   
  
"Why are you following me?"   
  
She turned her head, blurred vision tried to focus on the man and she barely caught the look of surprise when she finally collapsed.   
  
*************************   
  
_"only you Duo, would bring a perfect stranger in and take care of her."_   
  
A woman's voice?   
  
_"She's sick."   
  
"She has Pneumonia, where did you find her?"   
  
"Actually, she tried to steal from me."_   
  
Her chest felt sore she couldn't tell where she was, her head was pounding and she was too sick to care. Why was she so cold? The voices just seemed so far away, maybe they weren't really there. Maybe she was finally dead this time.   
  
_"She needs a doctor Duo."   
  
"I thought you were a doctor Sally, that's why I called you."_   
  
Duo? Sally? Those people, the names seemed so familiar. Where was she?   
  
_"I can only do so much, this is severe, she could die. We need to take her to a hospital."_   
  
Hospital? Was she really that sick? Duo's voice was so close, she could swear he was right next to her.   
  
_"What will happen to her."   
  
"I know none of you pilots like hospitals but she needs more help then I can give her here."   
  
"She can't be much older then me."_   
  
Pilot, he was a pilot. "Duo?"   
  
She tried to adjust her eyes, she couldn't tell, were they both looking at her? "I'm cold."   
  
_"What's your name?" _  
  
It still sounded so far away, had he asked her name? What was her name, she could barely remember anything. There was something she recalled, a lingering thought in her mind. "Minerva?"   
  
_"We're taking you to a hospital Minerva." _  
  
"Hospital?"   
  
_"Yes." _  
  
She tried to nod in agreement, but a cough forced itself ahead, it burned her chest, so harsh she wanted to die rather then suffer any more episodes.


	2. If I Should Die Before I Wake

hai, next chapter is up. Hmmm not much to say cept that I hope you enjoy it. Anyway I don't own Gundam Wing.  
  
  
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It seemed like an eternity before Minerva finally woke up again. She felt tired, still cold, but the difference of her bed couldn't be mistaken. It was softer, the room seemed brighter a beeping sound intruded her thoughts as she came to relize the tubes she was connected to.   
  
"Minerva?"  
  
Minerva tried to open her eyes further, his voice didn't seem so far away now. She still couln't focus ad gave up on the effort, choosing to lay back in the bed instead.  
  
"Sally. Sally she's awake."  
  
She heard the footsteps of another as they made their entrance, making a direct path to her bed. A cold hand pressed against her forhead and she wish it would stay there to ease her suffering.  
  
"Her fever is still too high. We'll have to watch her and wait until it breaks. She's lucky you brought her in when you did Duo, she could have died."  
  
Minerva groaned. "I already died."  
  
Duo looked at the young doctor. "Sally?"  
  
"She's delirious."  
  
"No..." Minerva rolled her head right to left, trying to imitate a shaking of the head.  
  
Her chest heaved as she coughed again tears stung her eyes from the pain. She held back as long as she could before giving into the inevitable coughing fit. Why couldn't this end? Just be done with it, no more suffering, trading one pain for another.  
  
  
********************  
  
  
Minerva couldn't tell how long she had been here, in the hospital. Duo came often to check on her, but she was still scared. At least from what she could tell the scars had disapeared. What would happen to her? would they toss her out the moment they relized she couldn't pay?  
She shivered, and this time it wasn't because she was cold.  
  
  
She turned her head to see Sally walk in again, her expression, she didn't look happy. Had she found out? Her scars, they were gone. How did she know? "Sally?"  
  
  
  
Sally smiled, she was trying to make her feel better, make believe nothing was wrong. Sally was a horrible actress. The doctor made her way over to a chair and sat down. "Do you remember what happened."  
  
Minerva nodded. "I'm sick."  
  
She nodded. "Theres no record of you anywhere in L2, we're still checking the other colonies, but could you tell us your full name, where your from?"  
  
"My name is Minerva Blue, and you wouldn't believe me."  
  
"Thats an unusual name. Do you have any family we can contact?"  
  
"No, not anymore."  
  
Sally frowned. "The hospital won't take care of you for free, they're threatening to take you off medication. Any information you can offer will help."  
  
Minerva coughed. "What year is it?"  
  
"AC 197. Why?"  
  
"I was born AC 179, June. Makes me 18. Does that help?"  
  
"Not unless we manage to find records on you. I'm not going to lie to you, it doesn't look good."  
  
She nodded. "Just let me die then."  
  
"I'm not going to let you die. Honestly to deny treatment to someone just because they can't pay. We'll figure out something."  
  
She smiled weakly. "It's okay, I've died before. It's not so bad. Kind of nice."  
  
Sally frowned, watching the girl worridly before she stood up and left the room. Minerva watched the woman leave. So she'll die again, the second time this month. Didn't change anything, still nobody cared. Maybe she would end up someplace nicer the second time.  
  
  
  
************************  
  
  
  
Duo rubbed his head, collapsing into a chair. He looked up at Sally. "Say that again?"  
  
The doctor sighed, looking at the younger boy. He was so devoted, even to people he hardly knew. "The hospital won't treat her anymore. She has no past, no identification. It's as if she never existed."  
  
"So? Her records could have been destroyed during the wars. I wasn't in any records either."  
  
"But you had someone to pay for your treatment. This girl has no family, no money. We're lucky to have kept her here this long and unless someone is paying for her treatment, they will kick her out. Duo, they money they're asking..."  
  
Duo sighed. "Yea I know." He smiled. "But hey I got connections, Quatre will help me out."  
  
"You care a lot about someone who tried to steal from you."  
  
"Sally, do you know how hard it is growing up on the streets? Your dirt poor, no money, no medacine. I couldn't help Solo, but this is one case Shinigami is going to lose."  
  
  
================================= 


	3. Price of Living

I uh, Do not own Gundam Wing. If I did I probably would not be here and instead living in a mansion on my own private island.

================================

The braided boy sighed, impatiently tapping a nearby table as the phone rang. So far he had gotten through three secretaries, five offices, some airhead of an employee and some punk who didn't feel it important to bother the head of the Winner organization with some scrap guy from L2. He sighed in near relief when the phone finally picked up. "Quatre! Finally I've been..."

"May I help you?"

He winced, that same annoying voice belonging to the first secretary. He swore he would throttle every single person who had kept him waiting if only to ease his growing frustration. Through a forced smile he relayed his request for the second time. "I'd like to speak to Quatre Winner."

"I'm sorry sir but Mr. Winner is.."

"I don't care what he's doing! Look, just tell him Duo Maxwell is on the line."

"I'm sorry sir but.."

"Don't tell me your sorry! This is a matter of life and death! Get me Quatre Winner."

"Sir you can't just..."

"I have a bomb."

"Sir?"

"I said I have a bomb and I need to speak to Quatre Winner right now."

There was a long pause. Finally the gentle voice of the blonde Arabian entered the line. "Hello?"

Duo smiled. "Quatre! You have no idea how hard it is to contact you."

"Duo, the secretary said you had a bomb."

Duo shrugged. "Yea well I probably have a few left over from the war."

"Duo!"

"What? It was a salvage operation!"

Quatre sighed. "Okay, will you mind telling me what was worth threatening the staff for?"

"I need your help Quatre."

"What for? is something wrong? Is Hilde alright?"

"She's fine." Gradually he began to relate the story about the girl he had found.

"That's terrible Duo, they won't treat her?"

"Well apparently the satisfaction of giving someone life isn't enough when there's money involved. Quatre she's going to die if they kick her out now."

"Okay, I'll have the money wired."

************************

Minerva turned her head to stare out the window. Wouldn't be long now and she would be gone again. Funny, she didn't think you could die twice. But she had never died before either.

Her gaze went back to the food tubes, it was sad really. She thought she'd be safe here, someone actually cared if she lived or died. Sally was right, she was delusional. Better not have them waste any more energy on her if they were just going to kick her out anyway. She closed her hand around the tubes and pulled. She smiled, laying back in the pillow. Goodbye again.

Duo and Sally both came rushing into the room almost immediately. Sally stuck the tubes back in while Duo seemed to inventing brand new swear words. Why did they care? She was being kicked out anyway, it didn't matter if she lived or died. These people didn't give up easily.

******************

She woke up again later, it was hard to tell what time of day it was, drifting in and out of sleep. Her head still hurt, but the medication being fed to her through tubes seemed to ease most of the pain. Slowly she opened her eyes, surprised to see the braided pilot in a chair next to her. "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you don't go suicidal again." He smiled. "I went through a lot of effort to keep you on the patient list. I'll be damned if Quatre wastes his money."

"Quatre?"

"Your benefactor. If that guy's heart gets any bigger he's going to crowd himself out of his mansion."

"You shouldn't be doing favors for me. I can't pay you back."

"What makes you think you owe us anything? You remind me of a friend of mine. Always waiting to die."

"Heero."

He blinked in surprise. "How did you know that?"

"...I guessed."

"Yea well, I'll be damned if I let you die on me. War has killed enough people already."

She nodded and gave way to a fit of coughs. She swore the noise had to be breaking some kind of record. She collapsed back in bed moaning as she rubbed her chest, trying to suppress another fit of coughs. Her chest burned as she was forced to release that too, another fit of coughs sounding through the hospital. She became vaguely aware of the hand that settled beneath her head as another began to rub her chest gently, seeming to ease the pain. Gradually she began to relax again.

She smiled weakly as the drugs began to take effect. "Thank you."

__

"Yea, just get some rest." 

*************************

Minerva stared out the window. The holographic atmosphere was so beautiful, it looked real. She wondered for a moment if there were birds here. She hadn't seen any.

"Hello!"

Minerva turned her head to the door, Duo was smiling, standing in the doorway. In his hand was a bouquet of yellow flowers. He walked up to her and bowed with a flourish, presenting the flowers. "Beautiful flowers for a beautiful patient. Even if you do have bed hair."

She smiled, accepting the flowers. "They're pretty, where did you get them?"

"Compliments of Hilde."

She smelled the flowers, smiling as she clutched them close then coughed harshly. Duo frowned. "You still have a cough."

"But it's not so bad anymore. The doctors said I can leave in a week." She frowned.

Duo noticed her disappointment and sat down. "Hey I thought you'd be thrilled."

"I'll have to go back to the streets."

"Your not gonna go suicide on me again are you?"

She frowned, not wanting to look Duo in the eye. Duo frowned at the girl. "Minerva? Look at me."

Minerva sighed, forcing herself to look into those indigo eyes. "If you don't want me to..."

He grinned. "Good enough. No Minerva, I don't want you to die. I'll figure something out. You just get better."

She nodded and Duo smiled standing and slipping out the door. He made a brisk walk down the hallway. He turned a corner, passing the other rooms and front desk before entering the lounge. Tossing a coin out of his pocket and into his hand he dropped it into the vending machine, pressing the button. He waited a good number of seconds and pressed the button again. After another couple seconds he stepped back and kicked his leg forward, denting the machine with a loud bang to everyone's surprise. Smiling Duo reached down and grabbed the can of soda, popping the top to take a drink.

"You could have informed the staff Duo."

Duo turned around, smiling at Sally. "Eh, I didn't want to trouble them."

Sally Po folded her arms. "Indeed. Hows our patient?"

"Minerva? She's recovering. Say Sally, you got some room in your apartment don't ya?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Well she's being released in a week and..."

"Stop there. I don't have the time or the money."

"Hey we'll get a her a job, she'll pay for herself."

"No Duo."

Duo frowned and then just shrugged. "Okay, I'll call Hilde."

"What for?"

He picked up the phone, starting to dial. "Well she has to set up an extra room."

"Hilde will kill you."

Duo smiled. "Hey, she didn't kill me when I got a dog."

"I think a human is very different. What ever happened to that dog anyway?"

"Oh, I had to get rid of him when he started destroying Hilde's bras."

He grinned at Sally, waiting near the wall when the Hilde finally picked up. "Hey Hilde!...Yea...listen we're going to have a house guest for a few days..."

Sally caught Duo wince then nod. "Thanks." He hung up the phone.

"How did she take it?"

"Rather well. I'll only be sleeping on the couch for a few months."

===================================


	4. Home Again

Uhm, yea. I don't own Gundam Wing.   
  
=========================  
  
Duo smiled, dropping a pile of clothes on the night stand. "I didn't know your size but I'm hoping some of my clothes fit you."  
  
Minerva smiled sadly. "Back to the street."  
  
"No. I worked it out." He grinned. "Your staying with me."  
  
Minerva looked at the braided boy and shook her head. "No. I won't bother you anymore."  
  
"Your refusing?"  
  
She nodded. "Yes."  
  
"Well you can't."  
  
Minerva stared at Duo in disbelief. It was true, gundam pilots were crazy. "Why not?"  
  
"Because." He grinned. "You'll be repaying your debt this way."  
  
She sighed. "Your slick."  
  
He smiled, folding his arms. "Of course. I'll let you get changed."  
  
Minerva watched the pilot as her turned around, braid trailing behind him as he left the room and shut the door. Minerva stared at the door for a few moments then at the clothes on the stand. After examining the pile she selected a white shirt and a pair of black jeans and sandels. Grabbing the items she slipped into the bathroom to change.  
  
Looking in the mirror she noticed her hair was a lot longer then it had been. In fact she estimated it had grown about a foot longer and now reached the middle of her back. She had always wished for long hair, but hers never grew that fast. It usually remained only an inch past her shoulders. Shrugging it off she tried to run her fingers through the tangled mass, giving up after a few yelps of pain. Sighing she just let it be, stepping out of the bathroom and over to her door. Slowly she opened it, Duo was waiting outside, his back to the wall. Grinning miscievously she slipped out and slammed the door behind her. Duo barely jumped, his chestnut braid swung around and violet orbs smiled at her. "Great! Your all ready."  
  
She nodded, a little disapointed she hadn't surprised him. It figured though, he had been a gundam pilot hadn't he?   
"Kind of." She pushed back her mass of dark brown curls. "You don't have anything to hold my hair back do you?"  
  
Duo blinked, considering the idea for a moment. He looked around the hall before finally grabbing his braid and unwrapping the band that usually held his hair. Without another thought he handed the band to Minerva. She stared at in surprise, the boy was supposed to be so protective over his braid, she could already see the ends of the yard long tail loosening. He only smiled, begining to walk briskly down the hall. Minerva hurridly wrapped the band around her hown hair and practically had to run to keep up.   
  
"Wheres Sally?"  
  
Duo shrugged. "She got a call. Had to leave on a mission."  
  
He opened the door to the vehicle, letting Minerva slip in before he entered the driver's side. They rode in a jeep, one of those military vehicles they used on bases to get around. She was almost surprised at how wide they actually were.  
  
"My place isn't too far away. Well I should say Hilde's place."  
  
Minerva nodded, she suddenly became aware again of exactly who was sitting next to her. This was Duo Maxwell. Duo Maxwell, in all her life she had never thought she would actually be here. She sighed staring out the road at the passing buildings, people. She looked back at Duo. Those violet eyes, long chestnut hair. He was a lot taller then she had assumed or heard. Of course it he was a lot older now and hus height had reached five and a half feet to her 5' 2".   
  
"Your alright Min?"  
  
"Hm?" He was looking at her, waiting for an answer. "Oh, I was just wondering how you got a license here."  
  
"License?"  
  
Minerva shook her head. "Nevermind."  
  
He nodded, pulling up to the side of a building and leaping out of the jeep. He walked over to minerva, offering his hand and helping her out. "Welcome home Min."  
  
"Home?" She stared at the building in confusion. how could this be home when she was only just staying here. It was temporary. Duo only nodded as he helped her down.  
  
"Yea well your not going to be sleeping in dumpsters as long as I have something to say about it. I'm sure Hilde will be anxious to meet you."  
  
  
She nodded, her eyes fixed nearly mesmerized on the swinging chestnut braid already loosening as they entered the building. It was like a pendulum, swinging in time with each second. The way you couldn't take your eyes off the butt length hair, it commanded attention. She almost wondered how it had managed to grow so long. Her eyes widened suddenly when the braid stopped as well as it's owner. It took an effort not to run into the self proclaimed god of death at the unexpected halt.   
  
In curiousity Minerva tried to look around Duo's back, clueless as to the reason for his sudden stop. Her questions were immediatly answered at the sight of a girl with short black hair and violet eyes. She wore a red weater and khakis with brown boots. It was Hilde, obviously.  
  
"Duo, wheres this new house guest you were bringing home?"  
  
Hilde peered over behind Duo, her eyes falling upon half the face of another girl with long dark curls and grey green eyes hiding behind her partner. Duo caught Hilde's gaze and smiled. "Hilde, I'd like you to meet Minerva."  
  
He stepped aside, allowing Hilde full view of the dark haired girl. White shirt and black jeans ung loosly off her body. Back length curls had been pulled back loosely into a ponytail. "Duo is that your clothes she's wearing?"  
  
Duo shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. "Well considering your reaction over the phone I wasn't sure if I should borrow from your wardrobe." He spoke aside to Minerva. "Hilde can be very dangerous when she's upset."  
  
Hilde folded her arms, raising an eyebrow. "I heard that."  
  
Duo's eyes widened and he smiled nervously. "Uh. Well what I meant to say was..."  
  
Hilde only nodded. "I'll deal with you later." Her gaze moved back to Minerva. "In the meantime I'm going to find our house guest something decent to wear."  
  
  
======================= 


	5. Dance of the Unicorn

Minerva stared at the girl in the mirror, adjusting her hair to a desired style. She never hated her looks, she wasn't at all ugly. She liked the way her eyes changed from blue to green sometimes. Her stomach maybe stuck out with baby fat and her face was covered in pimples, but she imagined if she had made the effort maybe it wouldn't be so bad, and most of those pimples had seemed to clear up now. It was really her life she hated the most, she said such stupid things. Her voice was terrible, it was always too low. The eyes expecially, always seemed to betray her. Minerva had always felt that her eyes gave away the most, all the sadness, the fear, the truth. That was why it was so hard to lie, she just knew if she looked in their eyes they could tell she wasn't being truthful and if she looked away, it only gave her away more. No one had really cared for her, she was just too stupid, an idiot, that little voice in the back of her mind, telling her that she was being dumb and childish. She couldn't disagree with that voice, it was always right. Sighing she gathered all her hair and began to braid it. The effort was harder then it actually looked. Her fingers were not entirely flexible with such thick curls and she kept getting one strand tangled with the other. Finally she just gave up, brushed it and left it the way it was.

"Thanks for loaning me your clothes."

Hilde smiled, peering into the room. "We can go shopping for you later. Does it fit alright?"

Duo looked in. "If it's too tight you can borrow mine again."

Hilde scowled. "Duo get out! Girls only."

"Ow! hey!"

Minerva gave a weak smile, the braided pilot couldn't help but lighten her mood. "It's okay, I'm decent."

"See Hilde? Duo Maxwell is never that indecent."

Minerva turned around, facing the raven haired girl and braided boy. "It's really alright, I have no money for clothing."

Duo smiled. "Think nothing of it."

"No!" Her sudden outburst surprised the two. "I won't accept any more of your charity! It's bad enough I'm staying here free, and you paid my hospital bill. The only reason I'm alive here is because of you! Not that it would have really mattered if I died again, but I will not let you support me any further. I'll get a job and pay my own way, but I will not accept more charity!"

Duo and Hilde stared for a moment, unblinking. Finally Duo cleared his throat and spoke. "Could always use another hand at the salvage yard."

***********************

Minerva swung her braid back over her shoulder again as she sorted through the mountain of scrap. She found that after it had been wetted down, her hair was a lot easier to braid. Her usual style was too exy to be caught among the scraps and she refused to cut it, braiding was the best option.

She picked up a shard of metel, slippping it over to study the writing. Numbers, digits. Her eyes viewed the edges, so sharp, it looked so much like the edges of a knife, like the knife she had used. Immediatly she dropped it, picking up a discarded piece of electronic instead. She didn't need to think about that anymore, she didn't belong to that world any longer.

"Duo?"

The former Deathscythe pilot looked up from his mountain of scrap and made his way over to Minerva. He wore a pair of old jeans and black jacket, specifically for diffing around the salvage yard. Minerva's own clothing was basicly new, Hilde had no old clothing to spare and Duo's wardrobe was a little too loose to wear without them getting caught. Her recently purchased jeans and t-shirt now sporteda number of stains and holes for being too careless, it was no longer new. Duo finally made it up to Minerva's mountain. "Yea?"

She held out the small electronc device. "What about this?"

Duo took the device, turning it over in his hands as he examined it. "Yea it'll work. Why don't you turn in for the night, it's been a long day."

Minerva nodded, jumping off the heap and sliding down until she hit the ground. "Thanks Duo!"

She gave a quick wave and then broke into a run for home. Home, it still sounded so strange to her. The fact that she was living in a place she had always dreamed of, but maybe this was the dream? It didn't matter, she was still stuck and this blessed fantasy.

******************

The light stung her eyes, everything was a bright white as she became aware of the familiar beeping of the monitors. The sounds of a hospital echoed in her ears as she heard the shallow breathing of someone beside her.

__

"Miss, your daughter is in a coma."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"Perhaps if we had gotten to her in time but..she's lost too much blood already. We're running more tests but we have no idea when she'll wake up if she ever will."

"What? No!"

Mother? Mother don't cry, I'm better now everything will be okay

The sobbing sounded in her ears. Her mother, she was crying. 

__

I didn't want to hurt you mom, I just wanted it to be over. I'm sorry mom. Mom I'm sorry.

Her eyes shot open, gasping and nearly relieved that she was now facing a familiar darkness. Her hand fumbled for the light and she found that she was back in her room, back in Duo and Hilde's home. A dream, thats all it was. So why did her wrists hurt? Slowly her gaze lowered to her hands, the usual blue patterned sheets were stained red. Her hands were covered in blood and from her wrists it gushed like a faucet. She bit her lip, trying to hold back the pain, the confusion. Finally she just gave into her fear and screamed.

"Min! Minerva!"

Light flooded through again as she opened her eyes. The image of Duo blurred into view. The braided boy was shaking her. "Minerva wake up."

"Duo."

"You were screaming, you had a nightmare."

She stared at Duo a few moments, taking in a few ragged breaths. Her eyes were like the chestnut haired boy had never seen before, wide with fear and confusion. He watched as Minerva gazed down at her hands again and began to sob. Duo's eyes widened in surprise but he embraced te girl in a hug, allowing the tears to fall. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, it was only a dream."

"Ther..blood all over....I jus..wanted it over..sorry..I'm..sorry mom..sorry...."

*********************

After a good deal of sobbing Minerva had fallen asleep almost immediatly. Now the only sound that echoed through the Schbeiker house was the clacking of keys on a computer. Duo stared at the glowing screen, not taking his eyes off as he grabbed his soda and took a sip, setting it aside with five other empty cans. He stood up and grabbed another soda, popping the top before slipping back into his chair. He stared at the screen, continueing to type and finally closing the program. Wufei's codename had just been changed to Wufflekins.

Sighing he glannced at his screen, searching through the database. Sally Po had been right when there was nothing on the girl. He had searched for hours only to find a forty year old Minerva from earth and another barely five years old. He had begun to search through battle records, missing persons, anything that might possess any information about an eighteen year old girl with dark brown hair. So far he had come up with squat, Minerva's past seemed to be more burried then Trowa's.

Sighing he moved the mouse and went to check mail. His amusment perked when he opened an e-mail from Heero.

__

Duo,

I know it was you. If I ever find out you programmed a picture of Relena to kiss the screen every time I log on again I will kill you. 

Duo smirked, the programing had been one of his greatest pranks. Every time Heero got onto his E-mail it was programmed with a pop-up picture of Relena who popped up little hearts and then ran toward the screen her lips in a large puckering kiss. It wasn't his fault Heero hadn't enjoyed it.

Shrugging he moved onto the next E-mail from Quatre. Probably something about Minerva's hospital bill.

__

Duo,

How are you? I hope you and Hilde are well. What happened to that girl with Pneumonia, is she alright now? I'm planning on holding a party next week and I'm inviting everyone. All are welcome to bring guests and showing up early is welcome.

Send me an E-mail if you'll be attending along with the number of guests I can expect.

Quatre

Duo grinned. Quatre was determined not to lose touch with everyone after the war. Inviting everyone meant everyone from Dorothy to Heero. Even Wufei showed up, mostly because Sally made him come and he couldn't refuse either way. Heero would come out of obligation, so would Trowa. He cracked his knuckles and began to enter his reply.

__

Quatre,

Me and Hilde will of course come. We'll be bringing one extra person this time. You'd probably remember her. Your the one who paid her hospital bill. Just give the location and time, we'll be there.

Duo 

==================================================================


	6. Reflection of a Mistake

Minerva held up the shirt, studying it before packing it into the suitcase. There wasn't much clothing to pack, most of what she had was all worn down due to the salvage yard. The nice clothes she did still posses was a pair of jeans, shoes, a few shirts one sweater and a brown leather jacket. "Hilde?"  
  
The german girl looked up from packing her own suitcase. "Yes?"  
  
"Do you really mind me coming along?"  
  
Hilde smiled. "Of course not! Duo wants you to come and so do I. Everyone would love to meet you."  
  
Minerva frowned. "Not Heero or Wufei."  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"I just.....I feel like a freeloader. I'm taking advantage of everyones kindness."  
  
Hilde frowned. "Never say that, we love having you around. My kitchen loves having you around."  
  
Minerva giggled slightly. It was true that Duo was a bad cook. Before he brought her home withen Duo had tried to soften the blow to Hilde by cooking dinner. Minerva could still smell the result even a week after she had been brought to the Schbeiker residence. Luckely she was a lot better cook then Duo and with two capable girls who could boil water, Duo had stayed far away from the stove.  
  
"Do you think I need to have something nice to wear? We are going to Quatre's."  
  
"Don't worry about it. Nobody really dresses formally to these occassions."  
  
  
"Are you girls ready yet?"  
  
Both Hilde and Minerva turned around to the braided pilot standing in the doorway. Hilde grinned. "You'll just have to wait."  
  
"Aw come on. does having two girls around mean I have to plan things hours in advance just to be on time?"  
  
Minerva grinned. "And how long does it take you to braid your hair."  
  
"Point taken. Oi, Any minute they'll start turning out search parties. Missing, pressumed dead because we didn't show up on time."  
  
Minerva giggled. "Duo your never on time!"  
  
Duo folded his arms in mock pout. "I can be on time if I want, I just prefer to be fasionably late."  
  
Hilde rolled her eyes. "Okay Mr. Fasionably late, we're ready to go when you are."  
  
************************  
  
  
Wufei folded his arms brooding over his thoughts as he sat impatiently in the living room. "Where is that baka?"  
  
Most of the pilots had arrived a few hours ago, Wufei still seemed to be pouting over having to come. Sally had chosen a seat right next to the chinese pilot. Trowa and even Catherine had arrived and the mansion was quickly filling with guests. Heero had arrived exactly on time qand now appeared to be holding up the wall "Duo is usually late."  
  
Wufei scowled. "Can't the half wit ever be on time?"  
  
Quatre walked out of the kitchen carrying a plate of tea and snacks, setting the tray on a table in the middle of the room. "He said he was bringing two guests."  
  
"Two?"  
  
Trowa finally spoke up. "The first one is Hilde."  
  
Heero nodded in agreement. "Who is the other one Quatre?"  
  
Sally bowed her head. "Strange girl..."  
  
The four pilots looked up. Wufei eyed Sally suspiciously. "Onna, you know about this?"  
  
"Of course I do, I helped take care of her."  
  
Wufei's eyes widened in surprise and he was about to speak when the door sounded a chorus of knocks. Everyone looked up as Quatre walked over to answer the door. He had barely turned the knob when the door swung open. A blizzard of snow blew into the room followed by a certain braided pilot shivering. "SHIT! It's cold out there!"  
  
Quatre waited as Duo continued to jump about and stamp his feet, trying to warm up. Trowa chose not to be so patient. "Going to introduce your new friend Duo?"  
  
Duo looked at Trowa then back to the door. Hilde and Minerva had already stepped inside while Duo had been trying to get warm. Everyone had turned to look at the new girl, her eyes were a greyish blue and long dark brown curls fell down the middle of her back, pulled in by a silver colored barrette. She couldn't be much over five feet tall and wore dark jeans, brown overshoes and a dark marroon shirt with a leather brown duster. Duo smiled. "Everyone, this is Minerva."  
  
Minerva looked up when her name was called and took a small step forward. They all stared at her as if she had a pair of wings sprouting from her back.  
  
"Starting a herum Maxwell?"  
  
Duo looked over at Wufei, who was now tying to supress pain from Sally's kick. He smirked and moved on. "Tall dark and stoic holding up the wall is Trowa Barton, say where is Catherine?"   
  
Trowa looked up and pointed his thumb to the hall and showers. Duo rubbed the back of his neck. "Yea, he's a little quiet. Anyway you've already met Sally Po. The adorable blonde there is Quatre Winner, your benefactor. Hey Heero, wheres your spandex?"  
  
"Saving it for your noose."  
  
Duo blinked. "Heero was that a joke? Okay, Mr dark and brooding is Heero Yuy. And the short grumpy guy on the couch would be Wufei Chang."  
  
Minerva nodded. "The male chauvonist pig."  
  
Everyone's eyes widened at the comment, Duo practically choked. Wufei wasn't nearly as amused as he pulled himself away from his seat to face the girl. "Onna! Duo what have you been telling her?"  
  
Duo held up his hands in surrender. "Nothing I swear!"  
  
Wufei continued to glare. "Just be sure you watch your words more Woman."  
  
"Funny you still havn't chosen to use my actual name."  
  
"I'll use it when I see fit. Street trash, while you were most likely whoring yourself off to the first buyer some of us actually DID something during the war."  
  
Minerva scowled. She had heard of Wufei's pride but even HE had to have limits. She drew her arm back and contacted her fist square into his nose. "You dirty son of a bitch! You know nothing about me! I'm a Virgin, and I wasn't the one who decided to blow up a base of innocent soldiers! How DARE you assume that about me!"  
  
The tears welled up in her eyes and she broke away from the group and escaped through one of the halls. The entire room had been stunned into silence when Sally finally broke it. "Wufei how could you?"  
  
"Maxwell bringing in strays. Make sure the next one you take in has more manners."  
  
He then grunted and turned around, putting a hand on his katana and walking away down another hallway. The remaing guests seemed to be participating in a staring contest when Duo finally spoke again. "So Quatre, where are Relena and Dorothy?"  
  
Quatre looked up in surprise, he hadn't expected anyone to speak so soon. "They're not arriving until tommorow."  
  
More silence, finally Duo looked at Hilde. Hilde looked up and noticed the other pilots were also looking at her expectingly. She sighed. "I'll go talk to her."  
  
The german girl walked off, following in the direction Minerva had gone. The rest of the guests disbanded.  
  
  
  
*******************  
  
  
  
  
Her face burned, the tears came so easily. This was all a big mistake, why she even came, it was all a stupid idea. She actually screamed at him! He insulted her and she fought back. Wasn't that what she was supposed to do?  
  
i Stupid girl, you get a gift and this is how you treat it?/i  
  
Stupid stupid Minerva.  
  
"Minerva?"  
  
She looked up, Hilde was knocking on the door.  
  
"Minerva are you in there?"  
  
The door opened in Hilde stepped in. Minerva hurridly tried to wipe her eyes and push the tears away. She kept her head down so Hilde wouldn't see how red her face had become. "I'm..I'm okay, really."  
  
Hilde smiled softly, closing the door behind her and sitting down beside Minerva. She reached over, ripping off a few sheets of toilet paper and handing them to the dark haired girl. Minerva accepted the offering and rubbed her eyes.  
  
"Sorry, Wufei isn't usually like that."  
  
Minerva blew her nose. "Oh, I feel so special then. He was just terrible."  
  
Hilde nodded. "He can get defensive."  
  
"What?"  
  
Hilde sighed. "Male chauvonist pig? It's usually not the first thing you say to someone."  
  
"What, so your taking his side?"  
  
  
"No. I'm not. Alright look. You both acted like bickering toddlars, but you don't go ahead and insult someone for a first impression. It usually doesn't go over well."  
  
"I'm such an idiot."  
  
Hilde smiled, pulling her closer. "It's alright, we've all made mistakes. I'm sure no one will hold it against you. You going to be okay?"  
  
Minerva nodded slowly and sniffed. "yea."  
  
Hilde nodded, standing up and walking to the door. She stopped and turned around. "Male chauvonist pig?"  
  
Minerva shrugged. "It just popped up."  
  
Hilde smiled and Minerva watched as she shut the door. Slowly her gaze moved down to her wrists, blood trickling from old scars. She grabbed the remaining roll of toilet paper and wrapped it around the wounds until it was soaked. When she removed the soaked cloth. The scars were gone, all that remaied was smeared blood. 


	7. Harper's Melody

Minerva had never woken up in a bed so large in her life. The matress was huge and could probably fit a total of six people if you really tried. For a moment she had been afraid of getting lost in it, but it was so comfortable she fell asleep immediatly.  
  
She was lucky that night, falling into a dreamless sleep. After the events of lastnight concerning Wufei, she was feeling a lot better. All she needed was a shower. As she opened the door Minerva was met with sudden shock. She dropped her towel, moth gaping wide open. Trowa had beaten her to the bathroom, and he appeared to have just stepped out. The unibanged former pilot was standing in front of the mirror, profile to Minerva. His towl had dropped down to his feet, leaving nothing but bare skin. She just stood there in frozen shock, his tall build and finally toned muscular upper body, built for the acrobatic skills of the circus. Her eyes drifted downward past his butt before looking back up for the sake of modesty. Trowa seemed to have finally noticed his audience as he turned his head around to face Minerva. His eyes widened as his face began to turn beat red. The color rose in his cheeks and he was practically glowing before he finally managed to find his towel and bring it back around his waist. He didn't waste any more time grabbing his robe and putting it on. He nodded briefly to Minerva as he passed her on his exit. "Sorry."  
  
Minerva blinked in disbelief, unable to move for a few moments as she took in what had just happened.  
  
  
  
*************************  
  
  
  
  
The chinese pilot balanced easily on one leg, sword raised over his shoulder. in a smooth movement he put his raised foor forward and swung his sword around, thrusting. The swift delicate movements of swordplay were performed like a ballet. Complicated movements were performed with practiced ease as the dark haired boy continued on through his exercises.  
  
"Your not one to let the actions of one woman get to you Wufei."  
  
Wufei didn't break from his excercise as he spoke to Trowa fully dressed and standing in the doorway of the fencing room. "Duo talked."  
  
"We've never known Duo to lie."  
  
Wufei scowled. "That girl of his then."  
  
Trowa raised an eyebrow. "What makes you certain?"  
  
He thrust again, spinning easily to face another direction. "Strangers don't insult you on a first meeting without basis."  
  
"Duo has never been one to speak of the past."  
  
"Much as I hate it, you're right."  
  
  
***************************  
  
  
It took a lot longer to wash her hair now that it was about a foot longer then usual. She grabbed a comb and ran it through her hair, pulling any would be tangles before gathering a mass of hir on each side and pulling it back behind her head. It took a little more combing to even what she had gathered out before binding it all in a silver colored hair clip. After the incident with Trowa she had made sure the door was locked before her shower. Therewas no telling who might have walked in, even Wufei, and Minerva did not want to have another awkward meeting with the shenlong pilot.  
  
Pulling on a pair of jeans and shirt she opened the door and ran downstairs. Duo had said Quatre owned several mansions, why he had chosen Russia for the party was almost a mystery. But Minerva didn't tolerate the cold well, maybe Quatre actually liked the snow and ice? At least the air no longer possessed the metalic smell which the colonies were known for.   
  
With nothing better to do she chose to wander.The hall seemed to go on for miles, it made her wonder why anyone needed all this extra space. Quatre did have twenty nine sisters didn't he? The entire building seemed capable of housing twice that number. Her eyes drifted to the music room. It was beautiful, designed in the elegance of navy carpet and wood panelled walls. Against the wall stood a case of strings and woodwinds, in the corner rested a beautiful harp and cusioned seat. Making sure no one was around Minerva entered the room, nervously taking a seat at the harp. It was so beautiful, only once had she heard the sound of one play. A renaissance fair a lady had been playing near the entrance, the melodic voice coupled with the echoes of harp strings had taken her breath away and she had bought all of three tapes that the woman had been selling. How she longed to hear the chimes of the notes again. Nervously she placed her fingers gently on the harp. You plucked it just as you did a guitar right? Maybe not so hard. Experimenting she plucked a string, listening as the note rung in her ears. She had no talent for recognizing notes, only tones but so far she had managed her first experiment correctly. Cautiously she moved her fingers to try again. The short strings were low weren't they? Slowly she began to pluck the strings one by one, testing and experimenting until she felt comfortable. When satisfied she began to move onto playing a string of notes, testing the combinations and putting it together in a piece of her own composition. The music was as beautiful as she had remembered, and she was actually playing a harp!  
Her elation swelled as she began to hum along with her own tune. She smiled closing her eyes as she continued to play. In an afterthought she stopped, recalling the words of a song. Gradually she began to play out the tune, testing and retesting the notes until she found the correct measure, continueing this until she had the song down. Smiling she began to play it with more ease, begining to sing the words.  
  
"My gentle harp, once more I waken  
The sweetness of thy slumb'ring strain  
In tears our last farewell was taken  
And nos in tears we meet again."  
  
Her eyes closed again as she let her fingers strum across the strings, unaware as a different voice entered the song.  
  
"Yet even then, while peace was singing,  
Her halcyon song o'er land and sea,  
Though joy and hope to others bringing,  
She only brought new tears to thee."  
  
She nearly froze as a new voice had entered the scene and she dare not turn around to discover it's owner. It was so sweet in gentle she chose to let it go in favor of finishing the song.  
  
"Then who can ask for notes of pleasure,  
My drooping harp, from chords like thine?"  
  
He was harmonizing with her, refusing to pause again she continued with the song as her voice entwined with his.   
  
"Alas, the lark's gay morning measure  
As ill would suit the swan's decline.  
Or how shall I, who love, who bless thee,  
Invoke thy breath for freedom's strains,  
When e'en the wreaths in which I dress thee,  
Are sadly mixed, half flours, half chains."  
  
  
Her hands relaxed to her sides and Minerva turned to look at her partner. She nearly gasped as she stared in the face of the blonde arabian. "Quatre. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to..."  
  
The boy smiled. "It's alright. It's beautiful. You've played the harp before?"  
  
Minerva shook her head. "No, I was just going by ear, I just love the sound of a harp.  
  
"You have a good ear, but you choose such sad songs to play, why?"  
  
She smiled. "All folk songs are sad."  
  
"Not all of them."  
  
She nodded. "No, but they're usually drinking songs."  
  
He smiled. "The song you were playing..."  
  
"My Gentle Harp."  
  
"There are more well known lyrics to the tune."  
  
Minerva nodded. "Yes, the song is called Danny Boy. A maiden's lover leaves and she swears she will wait for him. But the boy never comes back and she dies."  
  
"It's very sad, are you sure thats what the song means?"  
  
She smiled. "Story of my life. The ones you love leave you and never return until it's too late."  
  
She smiled, picking up the tune again, playing solo until Quatre chose to pick up the lyrics.  
  
"Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling  
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side  
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying  
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide."  
  
The sound of a flute began to enter the mix and Minerva glanced up slightly to see Trowa playing along. Smiling softly she continued to play.  
  
"But come ye back when summer's in the meadow  
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow  
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow  
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so."  
  
A womans voice filtered through, harmonizing with Quatre.  
  
"And if you come, when all the flowers are dying  
And I am dead, as dead I well may be  
You'll come and find the place where I am lying  
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.  
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me  
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be  
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me  
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.  
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me. "  
  
Her fingers relaxed again and she turned around to their audience. The flute player had obviously been Trowa, but to her surprise Catherine stood among the group as the female singer. Her gaze moved further back and it was clear they had gained an audience. Hilde and Duo were together by the wall and Sally had taken a position in the corner. Heero stood expressionless near the doorway, arms folded, the only one missing was Wufei, but she had sworn she caught a glimpse of the chinese pilot passing out of view from the doorway. Amazing, a single harp in one room withen a castle sized mansion had still managed to attract so much attention. She stared terribly nervous at her audience and was thankfully interupted by the doorbell. Anxiously she followed everyone else downstairs to the living room.  
  
  
  
  
The former queen pulled the hood of her coat further over her head as she rushed inside the mansion. "Looks bad out, they say there'll be a blizzard."  
  
Dorothy stepped in a few moments after, glancing around the room and awknowledging the pilots before glancing at Catherine and then to Minerva in curiosity. Quatre nodded as their coats were taken. "Hopefully the party will be over before the weather gets bad."  
  
"Whose your new guest Quatre?"  
  
Quatre looked at Dorothy, suddenly remembering introductions. "Oh! Dorothy, Relena, this is Minerva."  
  
Dorothy nodded, still studying the dark haired girl in curiousity. Relena smiled politely. "Hello. We don't usually get many new guests to these parties."  
  
"I'm staying with Duo and Hilde."  
  
Relena nodded. "Your always welcome..." Her voice was cut off as she looked up noticing Heero. "Hello, Heero."  
  
Heero nodded. "Relena."  
  
The group began to disband to other activities once again as Relena and Heero both began to walk off together. Minerva watched the two leave in curiousity. "Why didn't they come together?"  
  
"Because."  
  
Minerva looked at Duo in confusion. "I kind of need more information then because."  
  
Duo looked at Minerva, then shrugged, apparently seeing no harm. "Same reason a Tiger doesn't wander with a house cat."  
  
"That doesn't make any sense."  
  
"Sure it does. Heero is accustomed to being on his own, he's lived for battle most of his life. Relena thrives in diplomacy and peace." He sighed. "The two are polar opposites. Heero could never stand being in the public eye and Relena thrives on her responsibilities. Can't seem to find a medium."  
  
"I don't get it, they love eachother don't they?"  
  
"Sometimes it's not enough Min."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
=======================  
  
I have yet to know anyone who could automatically play an instrument after a few hours of practice. But this is my reality and if I say it's possible... yeah.  
  
  
Minerva plays a folk song called "My Gentle Harp." You can hear the music and lyrics here http://www.contemplator.com/folk3/harp.html   
A More familiar version of the Lyrics is "Danny Boy" 


	8. Enigma

Somewhat lighter chapter then before but I still don't own gundam wing.  
  
====================================  
  
  
The five girls turned around as Hilde walked into the room holding a large bowl of popcorn. Catherine followed close behind carrying drinks and beverages. They both set their items onto the table as Dorothy began to pour a concoction into the nearby blender.  
Relena looked at Dorothy in confusion. "What are you doing?"  
  
Dorothy smiled. "Your too innocent Relena, I'm making us a suicide."  
  
Minerva blinked in surprise. "Suicide?" Her face began to turn a pale shade of white.  
  
"Oh you're both children. Hilde you've seen Duo mixing drinks haven't you."  
  
Hilde smiled. "Once yes."  
  
Catherine looked at the german girl. "Only once?"  
  
She grinned. "Well lets just say he's a worse bartender then he is a cook, and he can't hold his drinks down as well as you'd all think."  
  
Dorothy laughed. "You're not serious."  
  
"Oh I am. I remember when he came home from that victory party, all that champagne and alcohol. He couldn't stay five feet away from the bathroom and had a hangover big enough to kill Heero."  
  
Sally laughed, grabbing a shot glass of Dorothy's suicide. "I remember on a mission me and Wufei were on. Anyway it was completely reconnaissance. We got word a new group was forming, had it's base in a house on earth, you know one of those old Victorian designs. Actually the information had been pretty vague to begin with. Anyway we got to the house and Wufei insists he go in first to check it out. Well he was doing fine at first and had gotten pretty close to the house but for this little dog. It wasn't even very big, some mix between a poodle and a Chihuahua. This thing comes running out of the bushes, barking madly and chasing Wufei down, snarling and everything. Well Wufei, he figures he shouldn't hurt such a harmless thing so he tries to dodge it. This dog executes an incredible turn, does a five foot leap in the air and attaches onto his arm. Wufei, he's trying to shake the thing off, finally does and barrels over the fence. Well he just gets over the fence when he realizes he dropped his sword. So without a single word he jumps back over the fence and starts running for his katana and this dog is there guarding it. He's growling and barking and finally jumps up and bites Wufei on the nose. Of course Wufei refuses to show any pain so he just bends down and picks up his sword then starts running again. This dog gives chase and rips a hole right out of the seat of his pants. He's got heart shaped boxers, don't ever let him know I told.  
Well Wufei finally has his sword back and he's got a few bruises, so I suggest we maybe catch the dog and hold it til we're done. Wufei actually refuses and kicks the gate open. He marches right in, all the while I'm following after and the dogs on his heels. He storms right up to the front and kicks the door open. Wufei is absolutely fuming and he opens the doors one by one brandishing his katana until he finds the study where we actually find anyone. Wufei, he yells out at the top of his lungs for the guy to surrender and then when he stands up holding his arms we find out it's just this old man. Well Wufei just walks right up and starts to arrest him and we're processing his identification and he's shouting out injustice which really ticks Wufei off and then we end up finding out that we had the wrong house all along. The man we had arrested was the one who called in the tip, the house we wanted was across the street."  
  
The other girls laughed and Minerva smiled as she picked up her beverage. Everyone was so nice they just seemed to accept her. Hilde turned to Catherine. "Okay Cat spill. I'm sure we're all wondering how he keeps those bangs up."  
  
Catherine grinned. "It's a comb-over."  
  
Relena coughed. "Your not serious!"  
  
Catherine grinned. "It's true. Really his hair is a lot longer, he just takes all of it and combs it over his head. He uses half a tube of gel to hold it there." She set her glass down, leaning in closer. "Okay, you know that knife throwing? One day I was just sick had this horrible cold, but I was feeling well enough and the show must go on. So Trowa was strapped to the board and everything was going well. Anyway I was just about ready to throw a knife when I sneezed. The thing flew out of my hands and right at trowa's head. I panicked. I mean I thought I had killed him, he wasn't moving or anything. Anyway the paramedics arrived and they examined the dagger, to check the damage. Well it turns out the dagger had sunk right into his bangs, all that hair gel stopped it completely and Trowa was staying still so the dagger wouldn't move any further."  
  
The girls laughed as drinks were passed around. and the popcorn reduced to mere kernels. Minerva looked at Relena in curiosity and sighed. "So Relena, are there any stories about Heero?"  
  
Dorothy smiled. "She has no stories Minerva, they rarely even see each other."  
  
Relena sat back and looked at Dorothy, grinning secretively. "That's what you think."  
  
Hilde's eyes widened. "What?"  
  
Sally looked at the former Queen with obvious curiosity. "Is that so?"  
  
Relena smiled. "I'm not as innocent as you think."  
  
Catherine smiled. "Well spill then."  
  
"Okay, Dorothy remember that time six months after the eve war? You know it was my birthday."  
  
"You didn't!"  
  
Relena nodded. Minerva blinked in confusion. "What happened?"  
  
Relena smiled. "A very wonderful night. The problem was, the next morning. I had three meetings that day, conferences with ambassadors and we certainly weren't lacking in press. As you can imagine it wouldn't look good for Heero to be walking out without even being seen entering during the day. Well Heero, he had this idea to sneak out on the breakfast trolley of course it would have been a good idea. Unfortunately Heero wasn't the only one to give me a birthday present. It was at that moment Zechs decided to come in and deliver breakfast personally. So I ended up stuffing Heero under the bed. Well, turns out Zechs had come up with a literal banquet of cakes and food. Not only that, Noin and Duo, Wufei, even Trowa decided to surprise me. It turns out they had all pitched in for the breakfast in bed. So here's Heero, hiding under my bed and every single pilot including Noin is in there with me so he's stuck there, no place to go and you know that especially Duo isn't going to leave for hours. Anyway I convince them to wheel the breakfast trolley closer so finally Heero is able to get on. Of course we weren't out of the fire yet and everyone was still there laughing and talking. Anyway I have to insist on calling in one of the maids to take the breakfast trolley away and absolutely convince everyone I wanted them to stay in my room just so Heero could get out!"  
  
Relena's had been the best story yet and the room echoed with laughter. Minerva smiled, they seemed to accept her, she just felt at home here. It wasn't that bad anymore, she felt free, happy. People actually wanted her around.  
  
  
*************************  
  
  
Duo looked up at the ceiling as another outburst of laughter echoed from above. "They're being loud."  
  
Wufei smirked. "Probably talking about you Maxwell."  
  
"Bah, Say what you will Wu-man, your still loosing."  
  
The five pilots had gathered around a poker table in the basement. It was Duo who had brought the cards, introducing the game to the others. He had also introduced his comrades to betting and chips an act which he later regretted. At that point It was actually Trowa who had acquired the majority of everyones riches. Heero came a close second, both pilots' faces were virtually unreadable. Duo and Quatre were both at a tie which left Wufei to himself glowing over his shrinking load of cash.   
Quatre layed down his hand. "Royal Flush."  
  
Duo sighed, so much for being tied with Quatre. "Man your killing me."  
  
Quatre blushed. "Sorry Duo, I can't really help it."  
  
Duo folded his arms. "Yea. Wish I was psychic."  
  
Heero raised his eyebrow. "Quatre is an empath Duo."  
  
"Whatever, teaching you this game was suicide. At least I'm still beating the pants off Wuffie."  
  
"Oh Duo, next time you decide to mess with my computer, I will kill you."  
  
"Aw it was just a joke!"  
  
Quatre looked at his braided friend. "What did you do Duo?"  
  
"I figured Heero could use some company so I programmed a picture of Relena to kiss the screen every time he logged on."  
  
Wufei snorted. "You got off easy Yuy. The entire Preventer organization was forced to call me Wufflekins for a week."  
  
  
"Is it possible that girl would be psychic?"  
  
They all looked at Trowa in confusion. Duo spoke up. "What are you talking about Trowa?"  
  
"Have you ever wondered Duo, how she knows certain things? Have you ever told her you were a pilot?"  
  
"No."  
  
"She seems aware at least of what Wufei did in the war, not to mention there was also recognition when she saw us."  
  
Duo shrugged. "So there were a few reports. Hey maybe she was a spy, maybe she worked for oz."  
  
Quatre nodded. "Duo's right Trowa, there could be a number of ways someone could get that information."  
  
Trowa bowed his head. "She asked about my sister, earlier this evening. She asked me where I could find her."  
  
Duo stared at Trowa. "That's it? So what, she asked about Catherine."  
  
Trowa looked up, eyes bearing into Duo's. "Duo, you never actually said Catherine was my sister."  
  
The Deathscythe pilot fell silent, considering Trowa's words. It was true, Duo rarely spoke a word about his friends to Minerva and he revealed nothing of his past. How did she know that? There were other things he remembered too. In the hospital she had spoken Heero's name and had written it off as a consequence of the fever.   
  
Wufei looked at the violet eyed boy. "A girl just drops at your feet one day with no past, no record anywhere and you don't find it the least bit odd?"  
  
"Well Wufei, lots of people on L2 have no record and I'm one of them. Since the wars the number has increased. Besides, I don't think some girl is going to dress up in nothing but a flannel nightgown and purposely get pneumonia solely for the purpose of spying on me. I think we're relatively safe."  
  
Heero looked at Quatre. "What do you get from her."  
  
Quatre frowned, and shook her head. "I'm not going to tell you Heero. It's not right to give away someones feelings like that. Still, I don't think she means anyone harm."  
  
Duo leaned back, grinning. "I told you didn't I? I'm not so bad a judge of character." He looked up again. "What's that sound? creaking?"  
  
"Thats just the snow and ice Duo. It happens sometimes when the weight puts pressure on the roof. It'll be alright, the mansion is built solid."  
  
"Ice and snow? Quatre I will never understand why you chose Russia, of all places."  
  
"St. Petersburg can be quite beautiful Duo."  
  
======================= 


	9. Masquerade

Minerva frowned, turning slightly to get a look at the back of her dress. It was navy blue satin with folds in the back. The gown was low cut, thin spagetti scraps. She looked down at her shoes. High heels, she hated high heels. A silver choker drew attention to her neck and silver diamond earings hung from her lobes. From the look of the style it was obvious Quatre had more then something to do with this. Damnit he didn't need to bother, this was embaressing to be getting handouts. She would have to talk to the blonde when she got the chance, but she couldn't be rude. Minerva sighed, finding herself trapped in a corner.

"This feels wierd."

Catherine looked at the girl and smiled. "You've never been in a dress before?"

"I've been in a dress before, nothing this expensive though. It's a small party, they wouldn't be too upset if someone wasn't in the right dress code."

Sally smilled putting in her earings. "Quatre isn't well known for informal. Cheer up, you look elegant."

Minerva grumbled. "These shoes are killing me."

Hilde smiled. "Come on, they'll be waiting for us in the ballroom."

Minerva nodded stealing another glance at the mirror before kicking her shoes beneath it and following Hilde out. She folowed a few steps behind everyone as they talked and laughed. They didn't notice her it was as if she was invisible. Well wasn't that familiar. Everyone had always treated her as if she wasn't there, why should she even get the glimmer of hope that thisplace was any different? Caring was a false dream, they only reason anybody did anything was for selfish reasons, to satisfy their own needs. If those needs happened to benefit her what did it matter? That didn't mean anyone really cared.

__

"Thats intresting, could you tell me why you feel that way?"

"What?"

Hilde stopped, turning back to Minerva. "What?"

Minerva shook her head. "I'm sorry...I thought I heard something."

Hilde nodded and pushed the doors open as they stepped into the ballroom. Quatre had certainly gone all out on the decor for the room was covered in pale blue colors, a small buffet table pushed up againt the wall with a couch and chairs in another corner. The boys turned around as they entered, staring at them as the music began; some sort of classical waltz. She looked up at Wufei before instantly looking away, she couldn't stand those harsh eyes at the moment. As people began to move around Heero approached. At first she didn't know it, she'd figured Heero would dance with Relena Duo with Hilde and so forth. It was her surprise that the dark haired boy was standing before her arms out as an invitation. timidly she took his and and was immediatly lead onto the floor in a sweeping motion. It was disbelief anyone would be dancing with her and of all people Heero. She looked at him, they eyes just bore into her, serious eyes, this dance wasn't for socialization.

"Who are you?"

So thats what he wanted. "You know who I am."

"I only know what you've told us. You have no past, you know about us. Who are you?"

"I'm not sure you would believe me."

"Hey Heero! Sorry to cut in but Relenas wondering when your going to be joining her." Duo winked at Minerva. "I could swear she was a little jealous."

Heero looked at Duo and nodded, letting go of Minerva to find Relena. Duo grinned, picking up exactly where the perfect soldier had left off.

"Thank you."

Duo smiled. "Hey no prob. Heero tends to be a little paranoid. What did he say to you?"

"He just..."

The room got brighter until she was seeing an intense white. 

__

"Doctor Forest report to psichiatry."

Doctor Forest? "Where am I?"

"Don't you remember? I'm Dr. Patterson. Can you tell me your name?"

"What?"

"I said are you alright? You looked kind of distant."

Minerva shook her head, snapping out of whatever trance she had been in, finding herself back in the ballroom with Duo staring at her. She smiled. "Yea sure. I'm okay."

*****************************

The snow was beautiful. Although it was cold outside she liked to watch it fall from the window. It was dark now but when the clouds cleared the snow would be so bright you could hardly see. It was because of this blizzard that prevented anyone from leaving as they had planned. The vehicles were by now buried in snow and would require shovels to dig them out. But that would be after the storm cleared. Right now you couldn't even open the door. The wind was intense and you couldn't see three inches in front of you.

Minerva turned her head around and looked at Duo. The boy seemed to be scheming over something for the past few hours. No one seemed to know what he was doing, but everyone agreed that whatever it was, it couldn't be good. 

She sighed, standing up and walking away from the room and Duo's schemes to wander around the mansion. Four days here and she still hadn't explored the entire building. She moved down the hall, past Heero and Relena who sat together in a bedroom. She continued past Quatre and Trowa, playing the most beautiful melody she had ever heard. Still she contined walking, glancing into one room after another. She stopped altogether as she looked into the exercise room. At least thats what she called it. A large blue mat was spread down on most of the floor so she imagined it was mulitpurpose for gymnastics and other exercises. It was actually Wufei that caught her eye and she had almost passed him by, not wanting to have any contact with the chinese pilot. The movements he made while practicing with his katana were just so fluid though, it was difficult to remove her eyes from the sight. Everything was so expert, practiced and executed with such skill it was hypnotizing.

"What are you doing here?"

His words caught her by surprise and Minerva jumped as Wufei turned towards her, dark eyes staring her down. Nervously she looked around then grabbed a sword out of haste. "I uh...Just came to practice."

He glanced at the sword then looked back at her. "You can't be serious."

She stammered and held the sword at ready, walking onto the mat. "I am. really, I can fight."

Wufei nodded silently and for awile didn't move at all. Finally his head shot up and he struck without warning, barely giving Minerva a chance to react as she attempted to counter the movements, finally falling back onto the mat as the sword went flying out of her hand.

His blade moved close to her throat and Minerva didn't breathe for fear it would slip. "You hold the sword all wrong. Your movements are clumsy and your weak. Either you are a terrible swordfighter, which is unlikely because even the most inexperinced fighter knows enough to handle a few movements. Or you are lieing, which is the most likely explination. I don't tolerate liers woman."

"How do you know I wasn't lieing? I could have just as easily came here to learn how to fight. Even the most experienced swordsman had to start out without knowing anything at all."

This seemed to amuse Wufei for he removed the katana from Minerva's throat and placed it at his side. "Why would you want to know swordplay? It's an ancient art requiring great discipline. You play a harp well enough after a few amatuer plucks so your obviously a fast learner. But your also impatient, headstrong and stubborn."

So he had been listening to her play With slightly more confidence she stood up to face him. "Well I can understand where you got the headstrong and stubborn. but were do you get impatient?"

"You tried to play a song after five minutes of plucking and failed."

He really had been listening. "I didn't know you liked music." She had suspected.

"Only when it sounds good."

"You think I play good?"

"I never said you were good."

"Then why were you listening?"

"I couldn't help it. The noise sounded through half the mansion. Couldn't get away. What I fail to understand is why you would even make these pathetic attempts." 

She looked at him, the way he stared her down. The lack of respect was so obvious in those eyes. It didn't matter, she had been used to that look long before Wufei Chang. Still she refused to admit her attempts as pathetic. "All my life I've wondered what could have been, if I could have done it. I've always been too afraid to do this or try that, sitting in a corner and trying to stay invisible. This is my second life and I don't intend to repeat the same old routine. This time around I want to make things different."

Wufei stared at her for a moment and for awile there was a long pause as he tried to comprehend ehat the girl had meant. Finally he raised his sword again, once again begining those fluid movements that had entranced her earlier. "Go find someone else to bother now. I have other things to do then be disturbed by you."

Minerva scowled as she left the room, putting the sword away. How dare he be so rude? What if she had really wanted to learn? He probably hadn't even been listening to her, another foolish speech no one wanted to hear. Sighing she began to pass the rooms again, past the bedrooms, past the bathroom, past the psichiatric ward. Wait..what was that? Minerva stopped, backing up to get another look at the room she had just passed. Her view was of just a small game room, a pool table and couch that had been pushed up against the wall. That was strange, a moment ago she could have sworn to have seen a long white hall, people in lab coats. She shook her head again, passing the room as quickly as possible. She just needed rest, that was all.

======================================


	10. Remember Me

"MAXWELL!!!!"

Minerva winced as Wufei's outrage echoed through the hall. Out of curiousity she looked outside her room, catching sight of a very green chinese pilot weilding a katana and wearing a towel. She stiffled a laugh, snorting as she tried to hold it in. Considering Wufei's current predicament she decided today probably wasn't a good idea to take a shower and threw on some clothes before exiting into the hallway.

"Woman! Where is Maxwell?"

Minerva smiled. "I have no idea."

"What are you smiling at?"

"Well, your green."

Wufei scowled and continued on down the hall with his katana in hand. She watched him go and then made the rest of the way down the hall. It had stopped snowwing and the ground outside was so bright you could barely see. Actually they could probably dig the cars out by now but no one had volunteered yet, hoping for the blanket of white to be melted a little more.

"Did you see him?"

Minerva turned around looking at Duo who was anticipating her answer. "Wufei?"

Duo nodded. "I always knew the man was a little green when it came to pranks but..."

"MAXWELL!"

Duo glanced back down the hall. "Gotta go!"

He ran off in the other direction, just as Wufei ran back down the hall after him.

Minerva smiled slightly, watching them run. She turned around, slightly surprised to notice Hilde standing behind her.

"Oh they're at it again arn't they?"

Minerva nodded. "Will they ever stop?"

"Oh, I'm sure they'll tire themselves out eventually, just wait a few hours."

Minerva nodded again, staring ahead into the kitchen, she could have sworn she noticed a hospital room. She began to walk towards it, blinking at the sudden brightness. When everything cleared she saw Quatre and Sally cooking dinner. "Hello."

Quatre turned around and smiled. "Hello."

"Can I..help at all?"

Sally smiled. "Well we could use some help. Feeding eleven people isn't an easy job. You can start with chopping the carrots."

Minerva nodded, walking over to the cutting board. She placed a carrot onto the board then slowly picked up the knife, cutting off the first piece.

__

"I'm here to help you get better. Minerva are you listening to me?"

"Yes."

She stared down at herself, at the white hospital gown, then back up at the blurred figure with the clipboard.

"It's alright to be scared, we're going to take this slow. Lets start by telling me what happened to your wrists."

The knife slipped, falling from her hands. She stepped back in reaction as the blade clattered to the floor. She looked up as Quatre and Sally both turned in surprise, then looked back down as drops of blood folowed the knife to the floor. Slowly she turned her wrist over, staring as blood seeped from an open wound.

Sally hurried over, grabbing Minerva's hand and wrapping it around her wrist, blood began to seep through as she ordered Quatre to get some bandages. Minerva just stared as the white towel began to stain red. She looked up at Sally as the docter gripped her wrist and tried to stop the bleeding.

**********************

She tried to shut herself away from the rest of the guests at the table. She knew they we're staring at her, the bandage that now covered her wrist. It still hurt, it hadn't gone away like the other times.

"It looks like we'll be able to leave tonight."

The others nodded at Relena in agreement. Minerva sighed, looking to the kitchen and standing up. "Coffee is ready, if anyone wants some."

She gathered up the mugs and began to walk toward the kitchen. Trowa stood, holding out his mug. "I'll have some."

Minerva shook her head. "You wouldn't like it. Cathy made it."

The table went silent and Trowa followed the girl as she disapeared into the kitchen.

She set the mugs down one by one, taking turns filling them and setting them aside as Trowa approached. "Who are you?"

She froze, stiffening before she continued to refil the mugs, refusing to turn around and face the Heavy Arms pilot. "I don't know what your talking about."

"What else do you know about us? Personal details about our lives. Your not a spy, they know how to keep quiet."

"I just picked it up, thats all."

He stepped closer, moving the next mug aside before she was able to grab it. "It's more then that. Your aware of a lot more then your letting on. You might be able to fool one of us, but not all at once."

"I don't know what your talking about. I don't know anything."

He nodded and grabbed her wrist, Minerva winced, trying to pull away. "Let go."

He looked down, holding a firm grip as he unwraped the bandage, staring at the wound. "You didn't cut yourself with a knife. This injury is older. You didn't have it when you came in, how did you get it?"

She began to panic, staring at Trowa. "Please don't tell them."

"Tell them what? What are you trying to hide Minerva?"

Her eyes reflected fear and she bit her lip, fighting back the tears that had already begun to form in her eyes. She should have known, Trowa was the hardest to hide from. "I'm already dead."

Trowa's eyes widened in surprise and Minerva pulled her hand away, looking down in shame as she fumbled with rewrapping her bandage. "What do you believe Trowa? Do you think life ends after death? Or maybe I'm still dreaming. You said yourself. My wounds arn't fresh, I'm not crazy am I? You see it too don't you? You won't tell them will you?"

He stared at her, his eyes still locked in shock. Finally he turned around, grabbing one of the filled mugs and exiting the kitchen. Minerva leaned against the counter, staring at the wall in panic. What was going to happen now?

************************

__

"Your going to wake up. What your seeing is all in your dreams."

"No it's real! I can touch it."

"You only think you can. Your parents miss you, they want you to come home."

"No! Just leave me alone."

"Your being hostile."

She burried her head in her lap, staring at her room. Sometimes she would see white sheets, bars on the windows but next time she looked they would be gone. She just wanted to make it go away, why couldn't they just leave her be?

Looking up she stared out into the hall, moving her legs over the side of the bed and standing up. Almost zombie like she walked down the hall, glancing in the rooms, occassionally hearing the speech of an intercom. Her feet carried her up the steps to the top until she was staring down from a balcony. All these images, she just wanted them to stop. The wind blew her hair into her face and she looked down. The snow had melted and she could see the bare ground below. She gripped the rail, kicking off her shoes before palancing herself on the edge, holding onto the wall so she didn't fall prematurely. It was a long way down and she took a deep breath, preparing for the drop. The rail was so cold under her bare feet and she shivered, moving her arms slowly to her out to her sides as she leaned forward. Her feet slipped and she felt a hand close around her arm, yanking her back into the room.

She turned around, standing face to face with Wufei. "What are you doing woman?"

"I thought you'd be happy. You'd finally be rid of me."

He scowled. "Foolish woman. You think I want you dead? Jump out the window, did you cut yourself too, that wasn't an accident was it?"

"I don't belong here."

He gripped her arm tighter, his eyes harsh and angry. "Of course you don't. Coward. Can't take it so you think you can forget it?"

"You can't die twice."

"That doesn't mean you should tempt fate."

"You actually care."

"Idiot. Of course I do. You think just because I think you weak I would want you to die? I gave my life to protect people like you Hell if I let you just throw it away!"

She nodded slowly. "Tell me Wufei. If you had a choice between two what would you choose?"

"I don't answer foolish questions."

"Humor me."

He looked at her, trying to decide whether or not to answer. "I'd choose life Minerva."

He kept his eyes on her a moment longer before turning around and leaving the room. Minerva sighed, sliding into a sitting position against the wall. She stared ahead, watching as the room began to get brighter. The walls paled to cream as a steel door formed. She found herself sitting on a chair, a white cot pushed against the wall.

"Welcome back to reality Minerva."

She looked up, staring at the docter in front of her.

==================


	11. Beautiful Dreamer

Well here is the last chapter.I only say this because it is difficult to tell if it ends or not. Thank you for all of your reviews and I really appreciate your support.

=================================

"Is she stable now?"

"Yes. But Dr. Renolds, she hasn't said a word since the last session."

"I see. Theres no evidence she's regressed?"

"No doctor, she seems to be aware of her surroundings."

Dr. Renolds nodded to the nurse. "I'll see her now."

Minerva looked up as she heard the door of her room open. She had backed up into a sitting position against the wall, arms folded on her knees. She recognized the man who had entered, the same one as before, he carried with him a clipboard, no doubt for taking notes.

"Good afternoon Minerva. How are you feeling?"

She turned her head, refusing to answer. The doctor just continued. "Do you remember where you are? This is the Potter Institute. Your parents sent you here after you woke up, you were hysterical. You've been here for two weeks."

She turned back to the doctor, looking at him harshly. "Send me back."

"I'm sorry?"

"Send me back! I'm not supposed to be here! Why did you have to bring me back? Get out!"

*********************

She looked around at the room. Maroon and black, books, leather chairs and shiny desks. Typical psychiatric room. As soon as they figured she calmed down she was allowed to explore. There wasn't much to it, she met the other guests some of them were okay until you were reminded of the fact why they were here. But wasn't that the same reason she was here? No, she wasn't crazy, it hadn't been just a dream it was real. Unfortunatly no one here seemed to believe her and now she sat in a room with some excuse for a shrink who looked to be analyzing her every move. She hated psychiatrists, hated talking to them, she never really felt confortable with them. This guy wasn't any different.

"Are you feeling better Minerva?"

Feeling better, that was a joke. "When I was about ten, my godmother got me this music box for my birthday. It was a ceramic sculpture with bluebirds on a tree, little lillies. The song was Beautiful Dreamer."

"Thats a nice story."

Minerva sighed. "Your lieing. Your not really listening you don't even care. Theres probably a dozen more sessions for you today you can't possibly listen and care about every single patient."

"Thats wrong Minerva. I do care about my patients. I care about you. When you came in here you were completely out of touch with reality, lost in a dream."

"It wasn't a dream. It was real, how am I to know this isn't a dream as well?"

"You still have your scars don't you?" He nodded to her wrists and Minerva scowled as she glanced at the scars and hid them behind her back. "You mentioned some names Duo, Wufei, Hilde? Your parents tell me it's from a cartoon you watch?"

"It's not a cartoon, it's called Anime."

"I see, do you watch a lot of this anime?"

Minerva scowled, this guy was realy starting to get on her nerves. "Yes, I do. Lots of people watch Anime, theres nothing wrong with it you idiot."

"I wasn't trying to be insulting, it was a question. But you must understand Minerva, those people arn't real. They're just charecters in a show."

She looked up at him, smiling slightly. "Thats what I thought. The world isn't all made up of things you can understand. No one understands death because no one lives to tell about it."

She continued to watch him as he studied her with interest. Obviously he wouldn't believe her, who would? They wouldn't even allow her a butter knife in this dump. They thought she was crazy. Hell, she probably was. There wasn't much of a choice now, she was stuck here. The best chance was to play the healthy patient and try to find a way to get back as soon as possible.

**************************

If any place in the world sucked more then this place, Minerva wasn't aware of it. The food was terrible, reminding her of highschool days. They wouldn't allow her anything, they were so paranoid she couldn't even watch a simple cartoon. The best she could hope for were sketchpads and blocks of clay and the way she kept being analyzed for every single creation she could barely stand that. Still she continued to play her part, hoping the sooner they thought her healthy the sooner she could get out.

"You seem to be making a lot of progress lately Minerva."

She nodded. "Thank you, I'm finally starting to wake up."

The doctor nodded. "I don't appreciate it when people lie to me, it's better for both of us if you share the truth."

"I don't understand."

"Then we havn't made as much progress as I'd hoped. Your family will be visiting this week. You've progressed enough for them to see you. I suggest you make the best of it."

********************

She really didn't want to see her parents. She didn't want to see anyone, least of all them. Her mother she wouldn't have minded, but her father she prefered not to confront. Minerva sighed and examined the long strands of back length hair. They wouldn't let her have a mirror, for fear she might cut herself.

"Minerva?"

Minerva looked up, staring at the door and onto the faces of her parents. She refused to look any longer at her father, but forced herself to stare at her mother, careful to avoid eye contact.

"Did you do this mom? Or was it dad?"

Her mother frowned and approached her. "We're worried about you sweetie."

"Don't call me that. If you were so worried you would have noticed something was wrong long before this happened."

Minerva scowled, folding her arms and turning her head away and up to the small window near the ceiling.

*********************

Minerva sat as far away from her parents as she could. She didn't want to be near them. Who would? They sent her here and were too blind to see the problems that began years before.

Doctor Renolds looked up from his file at the family of three sitting in front of him. "Mr and Mrs Blue, Your daughter is very sick. Her attempted suicide is a desperate cry for attention and I'd like to keep her here a few more weeks."

Minerva stared at the Doctor. "You don't know everything, you don't know what it's like."

Renolds folded his arms. "Now is a good time to tell us Minerva. There are no secrets here."

"You never know the loneliness, the depression. You've never gone to bed at night and cried because everything is just too much. You've never stayed in your house, fearing to go outside because your afraid everyone is judging you. I've felt all these things. You walk in my shoes for one day and then you can have the right to wonder why."

***********************

"You could have told us."

Minerva sighed, looking at her mother as they sat in the waiting room. "And what would you have done? Sent me here? Your all busy with your own lives to notice. I wasn't looking for attention mom, I was looking for death."

Her mother frowned. "We wanted to bring you home."

"So you can just pretend everythings fine again?"

"I'm sorry sweetie, You know we love you."

Minerva looked up at her mother and nodded slowly. "So your leaving."

"We'll be back during visiting hours."

They were both startled by a scream. "NO! Don't touch me! They're going to kill me! make it stop!"

Everyone stared as the man began to fight against the doctor's restraints.

__

"What would you choose?"

"I would choose life." 

Minerva began to back away as the others continued to watch the struggling man, breaking away from her mother and running. She could hear the voice of mer mother behind her as she screamed her name.

Minerva pushed through the crowd, the doctors and nurses, avoiding the elevator and taking the stairs as she continued to ascend upward, the sound of footsteps behind her. She ran faster up the stairs, slamming the door open as she ran out onto the roof. She stopped, staring out at the roof as the wind blew her hair into her face. She took a deep breath and ran for the edge of the building.

"Minerva!"

Minerva turned around and looked at her mother.

"Minerva please don't do this."

She nodded, walking forward and approaching her mother. Finally she ran, stopping to stand on her tiptoes and kiss her mother on the cheek and smilled. She broke away and ran to the edge of the building and jumped, taking a dive. The buildings passed by so quickly as she fell, the wind blowing her hair up as she descended downward. She closed her eyes slowly, smiling only slightly as light seemed to pass by her, growing brighter as she reached the pavement.

"Min. Hey Min."

She looked over at the indigo eyed gundam pilot. "Yes?"

Duo grinned, holding up a suitcase. "We can leave now. That is unless you want to wait for the next blizzard."

Minerva smiled and took the suitcase from him. "Thanks."

"No problem. What were you thinking about?"

She smiled. "Nothing, just dreaming."

=====================================


End file.
